America’s Obsession With Youth and Sex

Capitalism knows that sex sells. It also knows that America worships youth. The obvious conclusion it has arrived at is that the more explicit the sexualization of young women is in an product’s advertisement, the more successful that ad campaign will be. Sometimes it goes too far and gets its hand slapped by middle America, but make no mistake about it – Madison Avenue has a formula for success, and they mean to use it.

The result, some 50 years in the making, is that our girls Рeasily persuadable, highly suggestible Рare merely following orders  presented to them by their elders when they forgo adolescence and skip straight to sexually viable womanhood. The main problem with this is that every man in America has to either lie about his burning desire to make love to children, or go to ass-rape prison for a decade, then live the rest of his life as a hated pariah, subject to a litany of court-mandated humilitions until he finally, thankfully, keels over and dies.

Who is to blame fir these horrible, unntural laws? At first glance, you might point the finger at lawmakers. But they are mostly men. Why would men screw themselves over like that? The answer is, they wouldn’t. At least, not if left to their own devices.

It was the wives. The jealous, threatened wives that couldn’t bear to be replaced by newer, fresher, better versions of themselves. They refused to let nature take its course and set about to solidify their positions.¬† The statutory rape laws may have been written and passed by men, but I put forth the theory that without meddling wives, none of these laws would have ever seen the light of day.

That’s where we stand today – barraged by luscious teen nymphs, yet forbidden to follow our instincts into their pristine vaginas. I predict that one day in the not too distant future, humanity will look back on these days and laugh at our prudishness. Until then, we must suffer the brutal consequences of our elemental mistake.